It all started a few days before my 4th birthday in 1988, while hiking in a local park with my parents. It was toward the end of the hike when a dead tree on the trail we were on fell on me and my dad. The force of the tree also caused my mom to fall to the ground despite her being in front of us. It hit me on the head. I was taken to the local hospital where they thought that the tree only cut and grazed my left temple, so they sent us home and told my parents to keep a close eye on me for the next 24 hours. After we got home things got worse and my parents took me to Children’s Hospital in D.C. There I was diagnosed with a subdural hematoma. The neurosurgeon that worked on me told my parents that up to that point in his career I was the closest patient he had to death. The doctors also told my parents that I might have seizures and epilepsy in the future.

The struggles did not end there. I still deal with the effects of the Traumatic Brain Injury I got from the tree accident in 1988 daily. I developed PTSD from the tree accident as well. In March 1999 a few days after my 15th birthday I was diagnosed with epilepsy. So, now I added symptoms to my already existing PTSD. I also developed Anxiety and Depression from my epilepsy.

September 2021 was the hardest month of my life. That is when I was seriously contemplating suicide. I went to the mental health unit in a local hospital. There I met other Christians that were also struggling. It made me realize that I was not the only Christian dealing with these thoughts. While in the mental health unit I had 2 breakthrough seizures and was transferred to the medical part of the hospital and was put back on seizure meds. After that got figured out I was sent back to the mental health unit.

After returning home from the hospital I had 3 more seizures from September through November 2021. My meds were adjusted through April 2022. My life has been filled with other difficulties too. However, through it all I have learned how strong God has created me to be. I have also learned God has watched over me through it all.

I have advocated for those with epilepsy, disabilities, and mental health issues. I have also published books of poetry. I am currently working on writing my autobiography.

There is so much more that I need to do. I still have moments of depression and anxiety, but I also know I have God and others that care about me that I can go to for help and comfort. It is not easy for me to admit I need help or to stick with getting help once I ask for it. There is still learning to be done.

My Advice

Never Give Up. Find something in your story that points you toward God. Finally, use your story to help others. Ask for help.